I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
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