Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
