I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
