420 ftw
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
