i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
