There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
