all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Randomize
