i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
