You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
