Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
