The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
