Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
