And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
two words...techno handjob
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
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