Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize