he thought i was a dude.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
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