We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Just puked most of my soul out..
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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