dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
