Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
