walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
where are my eyebrows?
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
