i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Randomize
