i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
It's just like the Real World with babies
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
