We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize