We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
