I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
