reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
