the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Randomize
