so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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