pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
