I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
