but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
