I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
