They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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