my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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