this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
