so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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