And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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