NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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