Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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