Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Randomize
