Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just want to make out with him forever
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
