I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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