Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
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