I can't breathe out the right side of my face
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
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