Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Randomize
