I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
