she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I can't turn off my feet"
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
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