an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
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