paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
