standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
She bit a glass in half.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
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