Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
