oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
