Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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